I grew up in a very conventional, somewhat dysfunctional family that accepted the unhealthy norms of societal, media & institutional indoctrination. A major lifestyle shift, conscious awakening (I dislike the overused, new agey term, but I guess that's what to call it) began about two years after I graduated from college. I was full of self hatred, very depressed & confused, living an unhealthy, destructive & unbalanced life. To make a long story short - you could call it a breakdown or spiritual emergence. I felt lost, empty & extremely unhappy. I was disconnecting and dissatisfied with life as I knew it. I had hit a pretty low place, was very withdrawn and was receiving therapy. I lost interest in the world around me and I was having some inner experiences that I really didn't have a context for at that time. My sense of self and outlook on life was changing. During that time, my mother gave me a metaphysical book to read that was very comforting & awe inspiring. It gave me a different perspective on reality and confirmed the deep yearning I was experiencing. On a whim, by a suggestion from my aunt, I decided to move to California from the east coast to attend massage therapy school somewhere in the San Francisco Bay area. This was 1994 - before the internet explosion (email was a novel thing then) & social media, where the human potential movement, healing arts, yoga & spirituality became well known & mainstream worldwide.
Being surrounded in a new environment of diversity, culture and everything health & spiritually related - exposed me to a different way of being and elicited my yearning for a deeper understanding of myself and led me to explore the wellness, metaphysical & yogic arts for healing and spiritual connection.
My eagerness for self improvement and seeking the mystical aspects of life was quite magical at first. However, the reality of facing ourselves & letting go of unhealthy patterns can be very unpleasant, grueling & challenging at times with lots of ups and downs. I like to stay away from cliches, often sensationalized claims common in the wellness and spiritual world - about how this or that transformed my life and can transform yours. It's ongoing process and never just one thing, it's an entire shift & unfoldment of many things. Nothing is a quick fix. It takes time, patience, and a holistic view of our lives - cultivating self-discipline, self-compassion & faith, establishing personal sustainable practices, making diet & lifestyle changes & following a wisdom tradition to live by - as well as surrounding ourselves with the right atmosphere and community. And as far as spirituality goes, any experience that comes on too quickly or easily is usually transient and not reproduceable.
Studying, practicing & offering wellness or indigenous movement & meditative arts is an honor and requires a life long journey of dedication, discipline and continual learning. I offer bodywork, wellness, lifestyle guidance & yogic self-development practices in an honest, practical, down to earth manner emphasizing self-empowerment. No one is going to do it for us and no one is going to save us – we can only save ourselves. We can't heal/change the world - even the Masters don't proclaim that! - we can only heal/change ourselves. It's a lifelong journey of self-maintenance and growth.
My Training
My intro into yoga and the wellness world began at Alive and Well Institute of Conscious Bodywork in 1995 in beautiful Marin County for my bodywork education. It was a very new experience for me, in such a relaxed learning & healing atmosphere with loving support and community. I was exposed to many new things that felt very natural to me and organically paved the way for pursuing other wellness and spiritual disciplines that were abundant in the new world around me. Over the years, I received additional massage training at Lifestream Massage School, World School of Massage and Thai Healing Massage Academy. I received my Reiki Master training with Suzanne Louise and I studied wellness coaching through Wellcoaches.
My initial experience with yoga was around 1995 where I began with some books, videos and general classes. I had a deep spiritual yearning so I was soaking up many spiritual and new agey books, dabbling in this and that, and started reading books on eastern thought. I was taking various yoga and dance classes and also began studies with Magaña and Walt Baptiste, as well as their daughter Devi in yoga and middle eastern dance. Magaña became one of my dear mentors, embodying the devotional & spiritual elements of yoga and dance. The San Francisco Baptiste Center was a magical haven in my spiritual journey. I was a member of Magaña's San Francisco Royal Acadamy of Belly Dance Troupe and received certifications in the Baptiste Method of Yoga & Magaña Baptiste Method of Danse Orientale in 1998. I studied with Magaña and performed in her dance troupe through the early 2000's, and after my daughter was born in 2005 I would still drive down occasionally from Sonoma County for her classes.
My deepest influence has been as a devotee, student and initiate of living saint, His Holiness Swami Vidyadhishananda, a highly realized Himalayan Vedic/Siddha monk, Sanskrit scholar and Meditation Master from the combined heritage of Rishi Sages and Nath Yogis. His Holiness presides over vedic schools and other Sanskrit institutions in India and founded the nonprofit Self Enquiry Life Fellowship (Hansavedas) in the west - based in California - where His Holiness resides. Hansavedas is overseen by a monastic council of ordained erudite vedic monks - to preserve and disseminate indigenous Sanskrit wisdom. I've been under the formal guidance and transmission of His Holiness since 2012 in a holistic curriculum of Vedic Philosophy and Himalayan Siddha Yoga with initiation into an esoteric siddha practice of advanced hatha kriya pranayama and surya kriya meditation practices within the Himalayan Nath Kriya System of Meditation. My studies include personal guidance, Sanskrit Wisdom Teachings, Yoga/Sankhya/Vedanta philosophy in the Shruti method, Ayurvedic Wellness and High Pranic living based on the soli-lunar calendar, Mindfulness, Nyasa, Yoga Vinyasa Krama, Himalayan Pranayama, Mantra & Meditation. The teachings have clarified much of the confusion and contradictions in our current yoga culture. The teachings are so clear and profound.
Prior to my studies in Himalayan Yoga & Meditation with His Holiness, my introduction to Kriya Yoga Meditation (distinct from from other traditions that use the term Kriya Yoga) was through "Autobiography of a Yogi" by Paramahansa Yogananda which ignited my yearning to learn and seek out a living guru for the teachings. After returning from a trip to India, which rekindled my desire to learn Kriya Yoga, I began the Self Realization Fellowship's preparatory home study lessons. After about a year or so I received my first initiation in 2000 under another branch of Kriya Yoga with Swami Sarveshwarananda, a disciple of Paramahamsa Hariharananda. Soon after, I met Himalayan Master Yogiraj Siddhanath and studied with him for twelve years. He spends several months in California and the US, so I was blessed to be able to study and spend a lot of time in his presence. I was initiated into Kundalini Kriya Yoga, Surya Yoga, and Hamsa Yoga meditation, yogic healing practices and was authorized by Yogiraj to teach. Kriya Yoga, a system of esoteric advanced pranayama and yogic techniques, known as the lightening path for spiritual evolution, was the foundation of establishing my structured daily higher meditation practice.
My first guru, that sparked & cultivated my deep devotion, was Sai Baba. I was led to him after a friend (who's father is a devotee) casually mentioned him. Soon after, I came across an article about Sai Baba - with his picture - and started to have some inner experiences and dreams with him.... I immersed into reading books about him, devotee's stories, and studying his teachings focused on dharmic living, bhakti yoga & seva. I attended Bhajans and study groups at the San Francisco and other bay area Sai Baba Centers. I traveled to India in 1998 for three and a half months to mainly see him and do a little travelling. I resided in his ashrams in Puttaparthi and Whitefield for 2 months. I practiced Ayurvedic Yoga with Dr. Rao's Yoga and Ayurvedic Center while in Puttaparthi. I also stayed at the Anand Ashram founded by Papa Swami Ramsdas in Kerala with Swami Satchidananda practicing Nama Sadhana and spent some time travelling. The trip was such an amazing experience - hard to put into words - the whole experience was profound and felt like Divine Providence. India feels like home and my future plans are to spend a significant time there for holy pilgrimage and study.
I have also been dedicated practices taught by Sri Krishnamacharya's students since 2000 - firstly with Ashtanga Vinyasa, studying in Sonoma County and throughout the bay area, as well as developing a discipline personal practice. I had the opportunity to practice with Pattabhi Jois for a few days during one of his tours in San Francisco. I attended workshops with senior teachers including an anatomy training with Iyengar and Ashtanga based trainer, Tias Little. After dedicated study and establishing a discipline personal Ashtanga practice for three years, I pursued my Ashtanga Vinyasa Teacher Training in 2003 at Greenpath Yoga with Clayton Horton. As vinyasa has also taken on modern approaches, I did practice and teach modern influenced vinyasa for a bit - but was internally conflicted about it's disconnection to the philosophy and principles of yoga.
In 2012 I was introduced Yoga Vinyasa Krama and was completely awed by my first experience - I felt so "lit up" with prana in every cell of my body......it was the first practice of yogasana/vinyasa that felt related to my meditation practices due to the conscious breathing pattern, slow movements & pause, and subtleties. I had wondered why vinyasa had not been taught like this and why it was not well known. It aligned with yoga philosophy and clarified my inner conflicts of how modern vinyasa and yoga in general felt contrary to traditional yoga. After this experience, I shifted my personal practice and started using it's influences in my classes. I was initially introduced to Vinyasa Krama through the Hansa Yoga Tradition of Swami Vidyadhishananda and was referred to the Vinyasa Krama teachings that Sri Krishnamacharya taught Srivatsa Ramaswami (who studied one on one with Sri Krishnamacharya for over 33 years) as they are very similar. I immediately bought all of Ramaswami's books and developed my Vinyasa Krama practice at home and soon began studying and mentoring with Pam Johnson (yoga educator, one of Srivatsa Ramaswami's first American students). Through my studies I realized how comprehensive the system was embodying a true, traditional hatha method with aspects of raja yoga - so it felt a natural companion to my other practices (most importantly this system is transmitted intelligently through bona-fide lineages). I felt it was the perfect complement to serious seekers & devotees and those with discipline meditation & yogic lifestyle practices. In 2014 Pam authorized me to teach the system and in 2015 I attended a certification program with Srivatsa Ramaswami in Vinyasa Krama and Yoga for the Internal Organs. I have also taken an advanced teacher training with him, and take his online trainings & workshops in VK and yoga philosophy. I continue ongoing study in VK with Ramaswami & Pam & Hansavedas.
As Yoga Vinyasa Krama is part of the Himalayan tradition taught by the Hansavedas curriculum - I have learned it's connection and subtleties to higher practices of the Himalayas. Although the VK traditions have slight variations they maintain the same emphasis/philosophy and practice. Through my deep study of this vinyasa and pranayama system, a practice that leads to neuromuscular fitness, enhanced concentration and stillness, with heartfelt sincerity, I am dedicated to sharing this rare science to the modern yoga student.
I received my Yoga Nidra Certification at the SF Sivananda Center with Dr. Marc Halperin (founder of California College of Ayurveda). Knowing the personal benefits and it's importance in a holistic approach to yoga, I wanted to take a course to feel more comfortable guiding sessions. Yoga Nidra helps remove disturbances, compliments other practices and is a more accessible way for many to experience a meditative state. I chose the training from Dr. Halperin as it seemed more traditional as opposed to some western practices. In my guided sessions I also use the work of Swami Satyananda, a realized yogi and leader in bringing an accessible approach to yoga nidra to the west.
I attended a Trauma Informed Yoga training with Uprising Yoga focused on teaching to the incarcerated, at-risk youth and underserved communities. I like to point out that teaching specifically to the at risk community needs to be discerned from teaching yoga to other populations. Yoga does not need to be "trauma informed". The modern day brands & styles and the way yoga is often facilitated is unfortunately what has caused an obsession with the whole "trauma informed" concept. Modern practices are often missing fundamental Sanskrit guidelines & practices and are approached through a diluted & manipulated western lens. I was disappointed to learn in the training that certain violent and triggering language and practices are commonly used in modern yoga spaces. Psychotherapy & clinical settings, etc actually use tools & concepts taken from the yogic and eastern traditions. Targeting yoga as something that needs to be trauma informed comes from a naive understanding of western minds that have adulterated, exploited & taken an "ownership" of yoga. The training itself seemed to just emphasize important elements of yoga that are often missing in western practices. However, it was a very informative background into the at risk, incarcerated communities and justice system.
Ayurveda has also been alongside my personal and formal yoga studies. In 2004 I had the opportunity to work as a back office assistant to Dr. Helen Thomas (Ayurveda, NAET, Chiropractic), soaking up Dr. Helen's knowledge of Ayurveda and working hands on with herbs - including small batches of handmade herbs from India. Dr. Helen initially trained me in Shirodhara and I received my Shirodhara Certification with Dr. Narendra Pendse. I'm trained in marma therapy through an in-depth program with the Marma Institute of Ayurvedic Acupressure with Dr. Anisha Durve (Dr of Acupuncture & Ayurveda who co-authored a marma book with Dr.Lad). I am pursuing an Ayurvedic Certification program through the American Institute of Vedic Studies (Dr. David Frawley) and ongoing continuing studies with other traditional renowned ayurvedic teachers and Hansavedas.
Another notable part of my inner work in the late 90's was working with a spiritual counselor weekly that specialized in "medicine journeys". I participated in a few psychedelic therapy sessions that were very heart opening & insightful. My last session was a few months or so after I returned from my 1998 India trip, and the experience was quite profound, but I didn't feel a desire to continue. Although I feel this work can be powerful & helpful, experiences with psychedelics are not reproduceable (that is without years of spiritual practices, unless one is a lofty soul) and may cause delusions and disbalance in life & oneself without the proper unfoldment and guidance. One needs safe, bona-fide, sustainable daily practices that can release our samskaras, negative patterns, permanently grip us & gradually unfold our inner wisdom. Sanatana Dharma, transmitted through authentic lineages, provide the thousands of years of time tested wisdom to live by, understand ourselves and sustainable practices for our health & spiritual cultivation.